The Voice of My Three Penn’orth

I admit, searching for my voice, a voice, any voice—has been difficult; it’s been exhausting.  I mean, I never thought it would be easy.  But unlike the little boy in the photo—who grimaces to the discomfort from the sun—I grimace from insecurities attached to this process, but more pointedly, to my own.

Defining my blog almost cripples me with doubt and self-derision.  I don’t want my About Page to read like a horror story, but it has not been easy as it has been for many.  Sometimes it’s hard to get ahead of the mental stress and internal struggles that feeds my omnipresent apprehensions.  But I have to do, right?  As Yoda, the wise one, once said, ”No. Try not. Do…or do not. There is no try,“  I must do perchance to enjoy the sanity behind a few silly words.

But my mental inadequacies aside, working on this project has been, to my surprise—straightforward.  I expect the blog will be silly on occasions; although, I count on entertaining with salient articles on life.  But, I also expect it to be naively incoherent at other times.  It hurts I am only an unheard voice on a silly Seinfeld-esque blog about nothing—and all.  But, in my search for a place to belong, I reason I need to reflect out in the open (or agonize) to catch sight of myself.

I am not bent on changing the world, changing the human narrative, marginalizing opinion, or creating discord.

My goal is a small claim from where I can convey my three cents: maybe narrate a story occasionally, look at life from the outside-in for perspective, or offer insight.

I mean, not everyone comes in with a full complement of skills ready for success at intimating our vulnerable thoughts to the world.  In our naïveté, we’d expect an audience awaiting us from the start; we expect a warm embrace and fair rationalizations on whatever we write.  But, the reality is: the best we can expect is a perfunctory glance our way—unless we can carry our weight in words.

So, I hope My Three Penn’orth strikes just the proper symmetry between my scattered views and the intended perspective my “penny thoughts” aim to convey on these pages.  And with added experience, I can only hope it adds more worth to my thoughts. 

I found the old-fashioned idiom “my two penn’orth,” which penn’orth is a colloquial term for a penny’s worth, to be the proper concept for my goals on this blog; although, I’d be remiss not to strive to add that “extra penny” of thought.

Three is better than two, and—well, my favorite number.

But make no mistake about it—we all have something to say.

Kindred to the quiet voices out there, the task of elevating my voice from the raucous whirlwind that is the blogosphere will be enormous.  I am but another seat at this table hoping that my voice is just loud enough to rise above the cacophony of a crowded and tempestuous environment.  And, if this silly notion is my moment to come to terms with my flawed self-respect, and it doesn’t work, then silent I will stay at the table.

Until then, like the little boy, I will continue to grimace through the project as best as I can while in search of my niche.  I hope to come out on the order side with a strengthened focus, undeterred faith, and…ahh…better content.  But, above all, rejoicing in the delight bestowed by a few sympathetic readers.  I aim to be as poignant and relating as I can be without marginalizing. 

So, until I discover my niche, my voice, and a few interested souls, I will chime in my three penn’orth where I can, how I can, and with what I can.

Whether it’s about a penny’s worth of nothing—or all, I do hope you enjoy.